perfection.

I’ve wanted a picture of me and my kids for a long time now.  I have been meaning to schedule a session of our own with a photographer so we can 1) have family portraits of our family of our family of 4 around the same time that we did family portraits when Jackson was a baby and 2) so we can fill our house with some family photographs that I’m actually in!  I clearly haven’t got around to doing that yet so I asked Rick to snap a few pictures tonight. I really started thinking after watching the end of the Michael Jackson Memorial on CNN…
This coverage of Michael Jacksons life has just emphasized even more why I feel my job is such a priveledge.  I get to capture family moments, perfect or imperfect forever.  That is a gift.  What I also realized is I don’t have may photographs of me and my kids. Just us. Just as we are. I am on a mission to change that.  I often struggle with perfection and what I want my images to look like.  It is that constant battle that has endless folders of unedited family memories on my external hard drive! Somehow I get my client images edited and processed in no time, but I can’t process my own! I tend to always be saying,  “I’ll get around to it – I’ll do it next week – I’ll definitely do it after the kids are in bed.”  With not enough hours in the day – They are still sitting there.  Rick always asks about every 5 months – “Hey can I see some pictures on your computer that I’ve never seen!?”  I always have my camera in hand, actually opening the pictures I love to take is another story.  I often import them and then flag the ones i WANT to go back to.. somehow i HAVE to find a way to start going back. How do you keep up?
With that said… This is the picture that means the most to my heart right now.   Me and my kids. Totally unedited (yikes!) tired eyes, hair scrunched back with no brush in the last 8 hours, no makeup on (double yikes!) no dressy clothes, Jackson with a big boo-boo on his face, and Molly with her dinner all over her face!  But nevertheless all I see is perfection.  I see my heart beating outside my body in the two gifts in my arms.  I see the look of wonder in their eyes – I see the look of happiness in their smiles- and most of all I see the look of love in the way they are holding on to their Mama… That is perfection.

So today – this is my vow. I will take more pictures – more snapshots of our life – stress less about getting whats in my head and stress more about preserving my OWN family memories. Thanks to Michael Jackson for reminding me – todays memories are irreplaceable. Every. second. counts.
Much love…xoxo